Another Day

RENT. The one show that means the absolute most to me, ever. Angels in America is still my favorite play but RENT is the closest to my heart. It was the first show to ever bring me to tears. The first thing really other than a family member dying or something of that magnitude to do so. It made me fall in love with theatre in high school. It was the one show I always wanted to be involved with, no matter what I would have to do. And I am. I'm mixing it no less. My desired position in my dream show and my designer tells me I'm doing a good job. I should be happy, ecstatic even, right? I would be if I didn't feel like I was fucking every thing up. I missed pick-ups that I shouldn't have, levels were wrong, cues were late, and to top it all off, Peter Flynn had a hard time hearing the show and apparently he wasn't the only one. Yes, these people who had trouble hearing were in the last row on the bench which is a dead spot with the coverage, and yes, I am mixing the show with a very limited few of the stage due to the platform in front of me, a light focused directly in my eyes. Yes, there are 23 people (17 mics) and a 4 piece rock band on stage. Yes, I'm mixing from a some what dead spot in the speaker coverage. No, none of these are valid reasons to me for the suck. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist, maybe I'm just stressed (I am both of these things), maybe I was more nervous then I thought, but I just couldn't lock down the beginning of the show today. Side note, nerves before a show is something I haven't experienced in a long time. I didn't even really get them during Bloody Bess. The real answer here is I just love this show too much and I care too much about being perfect, which in all actuality is a good thing. It'll keep me on my toes. We open tomorrow night. Holy Fucking Shit, I'm mixing RENT and its opening tomorrow night.